Steer In To The Skid

 "Steer in to the skid."  We've all heard that saying before.  And tonight, while I was shampooing my hair, I really thought about it and how it applies to my life....

I've had people in my past tell me that I was "too open" with my life.  That I wasn't a private enough person.  I tried to become more "reserved."  Tried to not be so "out there."  It's something that I've never been able to succeed at.  I love being able to share parts of my life that I choose to share.  I'd like to think that somewhere out there, my stories might possibly give hope to someone.  Especially with some heavy stuff that's happened in my life.  Or maybe people just enjoy coming along my stories for the ride.  To see places that they might not see. 

I've had people tell me that I'm "too in love with animals."  Now I'm a small business owner of a healthier choice of dog treats.  I get to work alongside my husband.  We get to "meet" so many new people and new doggies.  My dream is to be able to be profitable enough to join forces with rescue organizations.

I've been told from previous employers that I was "too sensitive" and "too involved in my employees lives."  I'm now in HR where I get to listen and get to know my employees without it being met with judgement.  I'm privileged to learn more about their lives and listen to what makes their worlds go round, what makes their world stop.  At various times in my current profession, an employee has thanked me for listening to them.  To just be a listening ear, and for being unbiased and non-judgemental.  

These are just a few examples.  Point is-steer in to the skid.  Your natural self is your best self.  Fine tune your talents and gifts.  And don't ever let anyone make you feel any other way than amazed at what you're a natural at.  If someone tries to tell you that you're "too this" or "too that," to hell with them.  They don't understand you, and thank goodness for that.  They'll watch you in amazement, in happiness for you, or even in jealousy of you.  

It's cliche as hell, but, really, be you.  When you do, things start to happen.  I've noticed that when I go with my gut/heart, I next to never regret it.  So trust yourself.  

You don't magically turn in to the person you want to be overnight.

It takes days, years, even decades to accomplish that.

For me it starts with the little things that I do every day.

I want to remain lean and a size 6.  My diet isn't the best.  I give in to cravings, I don't deprive myself of donuts (my main weakness), I love sodas.  But I try to counteract that with drinking at least 8 cups of water and walking a minimum of 2 miles a day.  Why?  Because it keeps me active.  It keeps my mind in a good place.  Bonus-I'm also getting a tan. 

Recent pic of Astro the Doberman and me after a run.

My daily walking routine started because of Astro the Doberman, I'm guessing mid/late 2019.  It started off as walking just 10 minutes, then little by little, like most things do, it increased.  In the wonderful cool weather Astro and I were walking 6 miles a day.  Now that the nasty triple degree days have set up shop here in South Texas, we walk 1mi in the morning and 1mi in the evening.  Sometimes I'll drop him back off at home so he can cool down and do another 1/2-1mi by myself. 

At first the walking was inconsistent, then on its own it became a daily thing.  Now it's a part of my routine that I feel "off" if I don't do it.  Astro is the perfect walking parter because he doesn't care if we walk, jog, or run, he just enjoys being outside.  And because of all of this time together he and I have created this bond that he doesn't have with my husband.  I say it's because we're walking buddies.

For the past year I go on 20-30 minute walks on my lunch (if I brought my food).  This started with me wanting to get out of the building for a minute and ,just like the walking of Astro, it became part of my day.  It also helped when I ate too much (whoops). 

Point of this entry is that I saw the person that I wanted to be.  I wanted to remain a certain size and a certain body type but not have to give up my sweet treats.  And I can say that I'm happy with my body.  And not just its appearance but also its health.  I recently did my yearly biometric screening and I scored better this year in 99% of the categories than I did last year.  Like significantly better.  Last year I was trending on being pre-diabetic.  This year I scored in the healthiest range for my weight, height and age.  Score!  I really do attribute it to all the walking that I do.

So if you want to see your body a certain way, start making it happen.  You don't have to be extreme (unless your dr tells you to be), but start with something small.  Start with walking 10 minutes.

My Aura

I had my aura read this past Saturday at work and the whole experience was so fun and enlightening.  If you ever have the chance to have your aura read, go for it.  Even if you don't 100% buy in to the whole aura, crystal, chakra beliefs, it's still fun.

As you can see from my picture and from the aura chart I have a lot of yellow, some blue, green and white.  My two favorite descriptive words would have to be "whimsical and strong."  Though I agree with most of the words that fall under my aura colors, those are the two that best describe me/my personality.

Most of us find it difficult to find the right words to describe ourselves or are unsure/unaware of how others see us.  And that's completely normal.  Sometimes I want to ask people how they perceive me but that's such an odd question.  Plus, who wants to be put on the spot like that?  So for me, getting my aura read was a fun and passive way to learn a little bit more about myself. 

Again, if you ever have the chance to have your aura read, do it.  It's so worth it.  

Auras All Around in Austin, TX took this picture.  If you're in that area, check them out.  I promise that you won't be disappointed.

-CE

Who Here Likes to Read?!

I'm just going to come out and say it-

I think reading is becoming a dying art.  So many of us are too busy and our time is pressed so much that reading takes a backseat to other activities.  Plus with vortexes like Youtube, Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, who really wants to crack open a book?

But let me tell you, that even reading a chapter a day/night of a really really really good book is a form of this self-care trend that is all the rage.

I started 2019 out with a goal to read at least 12 books.  I'm currently reading book #14 of the year and it's definitely a book that I'm enjoying every minute of reading. 

One of my biggest struggles is to find a book that can catch and keep my attention.  I can get easily bored with a book and put it down with the vain hopes of "I'll read it over the weekend."  Along with my goal I also promised myself to not stay stuck on a "bad book."  Or a book that's not a good fit for me.  Accept the defeat that I don't want to read it and find a book that I do want to start and finish.

So tonight as I read for about an hour or two - I got up to refill my tumbler with water and thought, "There is no way to describe how satisfying it feels to read a really really really good book."

So my advice to anyone reading this is to find something, anything, that you like to read.  The media doesn't matter.  Whether it's fiction, non fiction, self-help, business, magazines, beauty blogs, anything.  Allow yourself to be transported somewhere else.  "Meet" new people/characters.  Get wrapped up in the story.  You won't be sorry.

Before I sign off and get ready for tomorrow's work day I'll leave you readers with my list of 2019 read books:

1. Circe - Madeline Miller
2. You - Caroline Kepnes
3. Cruel Harvest - Fran Elizabeth Grubb
4. The Life We Bury - Allen Eskens
5. An American Marriage - Tayari Jones
6. The Nightingale - Kristin Hannah
7. A Simple Favor - Darcey Bell
8. The Tattooist of Auschwitz - Heather Morris
9. Alice in Wonderland 0 Lewis Carroll
10. Bachelor girl - Kim Van Alkemade
11. The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle - Stuart Turton
12. Pretty Girls - Karin Slaughter
13. Where the Crawdads Sing - Delia Owens
14. The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller *currently reading*

Break Ups - The Friends Edition

I want to talk about break ups - the friends edition.  And no, not the television show Friends, but when you and a friend break up.

Some people stay friends from diapers to death bed.  Some friends are seasons in your life.  Some go just as quickly as they appeared.  And the list goes on and on.  

I've been on both sides of a friendship ending.  I've broken up with people and people have broken up with me.  And each time it's been for different reasons.

In elementary I went through a few best friends because I went to two different elementary schools.  Junior high I made a core/strong-ish group of friends.  In high school things changed.  My elementary friends, with the exception of one, didn't come with me to my adolescent group of friends.  Even my jr. high friends didn't make it to my senior year.  I can only look back now and believe that that has to be normal, but who knows.

In my adult life I've really narrowed it down to two, maybe three, strong girlfriends.  They're my true-blues.  The ones that (I pray) will be with me throughout the rest of my journey.

But let's focus back on the break ups:

Some break ups (from my end) were because I simply felt like I outgrew the person.  This was especially so when I was in college.  I remember being with one friend in particular and, as terrible as it sounds, I had nothing to talk with them about anymore.  We weren't in the same phase of life anymore, we were losing our common ground.  The communication on my end became less and less until I stopped trying all together.  And when this person would reach out to me, I put little to no effort.  I can admit that because I own it.  I was breaking up with this friend.

Now for a time a friend broke up with me - I can't tell you why she chose to cut me out, but she did.  I remember our communication started to dwindle rapidly and obviously.  Before the beginning of the end of our friendship this girl and I were attached at the hip.  We went though what I think of as my dark/wild side together.  We made plenty of stupid choices that when I think about now I roll my eyes at my 16-19 year old self.  She knew so many of my secrets and I hers.  But something changed when we were nearing 22 years old.  The shift started before then, and I remember inviting her to my 22nd birthday party and I never heard from her again.  No phone calls, no texts, nothing.  And I wasn't even upset.  I knew it was coming and that she had her reasons and I accepted that this was how it was going to be from now on.  

That sounds all peachy keen but there's a dark story of when a friend decided that a friendship with me was not what she wanted.  This girl and I had bonded in elementary but once we got in to junior high, the winds of change blew her in to this complete other direction.  We went from sleep overs and parties at each others house and watching every single Disney movie in her tv room singing as loud as we could to the songs to annoy her brother to, well, something else.  In junior high (does anything good happen in junior high?) she started to hang around a different group of girls, which was normal, but what wasn't normal was that this particular group of girls decided that I was going to be the target of their bullying.  And this friend of mine went along with it.  And it lasted like that until the end of our high school days.  Snide comments to me in the hallways, making fun of what I was wearing in front of others, going around campus telling others that they were going to "jump me" (aka beat me up), which btw, never happened.  In college and when Facebook became a thing this lost friend of mine requested me along with one of the other girls who took delight in being rude to me.  And you know what, I didn't approve them.  Childish?  Sure, why not.  But no-you do not get to be my "internet" friend without acknowledging that you were actually pretty awful to me after you broke up with me.  

Friendship break ups happen.  They're normal.  People change and people change their minds.  It's kind of like dating however, I think friendship break ups are worse in their own way.  It's literally a person that you have no romantic confusing feelings for each other telling you "I don't want to be your friend anymore."  Ouch.

What I can say that I've learned in these past 34 years is that I beyond value the friends that I have today.  And if there ever comes a day that a break up should be on the horizon, I hope that we can have as much open communication about it as possible.  But let's hope that never happens.

What about you?  Have you been on either end of the friendship break up?

Travel Bug

Let's discuss traveling a bit -

If you had asked me 10 years ago if I liked to travel, I would have told you no.  It wasn't in my scope.  At 24 I was much more interested in having material things.  I spent a lot of money on designer handbags, shoes, clothes, jewelry, etc.  That's what made me come alive.

I can tell you the exact moment that the travel bug bit me : it was on my one year anniversary trip to Disney World.  Isaac and I spent a lot of time in Epcot and I said, "Being here makes me want to travel the world."  That was it.  So to me, Disney really is the most magical place on earth.

Since then I've been lucky enough to travel to some fun places:  New Mexico, Arizona, Oregon, Washington, New York, Nevada, Mexico, Canada.  And next year we are finally making our way across the Atlantic and visiting Europe.  I can't wait!

Since my mind has been consumed by this trip, my shopping has decreased by ghastly measures.  All extra income goes straight to the travel fund.

I know that this is a topic that I've touched on before, but hey, my blog, my ideas, my world.

-CE

Hidden Libraries

Having 30 minutes to spare before the Mozart concert ended up being a huge happy surprise for Isaac and me.  As we were driving around the Los Olmos area, trying to kill time, Isaac suggested that we go to a library for a while.  I looked up the closest one which happened to be the Landa Public Library and me, oh my, I had never seen a library like that.

I didn't take as many pictures as I would have normally due to the time constraint, but whenever I go back I definitely will.  Until then enjoy these:

Work Life

Whew, the weekends go by way too fast, right?

Did you know that I barely landed myself a M-F job one year ago?  It's true.  Since senior year of college I worked retail jobs.  After graduating college I began a Manager In Training program at a retailer with intentions of only staying on board for one or two years.  Fast forward nine years and I was still in retail management.

Now don't get me wrong - I had a lot of fun along the way.  I met two of my main best friends by working in retail management.  I technically met Isaac while I was working at my first management job - even though he didn't work retail. 

Anyway-flash forward nine years later : I was offered my dream job and life changed.  It took a few months for me to adjust to having to go to sleep at normal hours, be in one place for hours on end, have the opportunity to have an hour lunch, but I adjusted and I adjusted well.

Looking back I can't believe how long I went without having a "normal person" job.  And it wasn't due to lack of trying.  I interviewed at many a places with a M-F schedule but things didn't work out...many many many times.  But as the (annoying) age old saying goes: everything happens for a reason.

So this past year I've been living my best life.  I've been able to do so much more with family, friends, and of course Isaac.  I've discovered that I have different types of interests and hobbies.  It's been amazing get to know me again.

This isn't to say that if you do NOT have a M-F job that you're missing out.  Again, I had some great times.  But my end-goal was always to get the job I have now.  Even though I didn't know it existed. 

Hope that yall are living your best lives.  And if you aren't - keep trying.

-CE

Ugh

This is going to be a quick-ranting post:

I miss my 20 year old metabolism.  I miss being able to not worry about if something is giong to fit next season or not.

I walk one mile on my lunch every day, then come home and either walk or jog with Astro or do yoga.

And you know what, I'm the same size.

And I know that my eating could be better, but you know what?  Lately all that I've been wanting to eat is junk food.  For every meal.  Nothing sounds appetizing to me.  The only thing that has been making my mouth water is the thought of eating strawberry shortcake.

What.  Is.  Wrong.  With.  Me.

I'm just frustrated and upset.  Nothing major, nothing serious, just wanted to vent.

Sunday Markets

As my three day weekend rounds itself out I have zero qualms or regrets about how it was spent.

Friday was Isaac's birthday, yesterday I went to Frida Fest, today Isaac and I spent the morning on the south west side of San Antonio.

One of my favorite environments to be in is a market.  Especially indoors (because it's way too hot outside) and to allow myself to become intoxicated by all of the vibrant colors and presentations of the produce. 

Enjoy some pictures from today's market: